What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
