i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
