That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
