we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
