Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Fuck appropriateness.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
