She went from zero to smokin in five shots
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
