so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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