Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
