Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
