i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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