she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
