we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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