I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
