omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just invented taco cereal.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
