one two three fourrrrnication!
we made out on top of his cat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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