she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
