I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
