you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
