that's an acceptable place to lick
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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