Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
