Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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