Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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