I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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