The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
