When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
