I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
