I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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