he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
