i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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