I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
