Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
