pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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