hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
