chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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