Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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