yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
