oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
