i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
