hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
