I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
