my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
