I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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