When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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