In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I FOUND THE LEGS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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