No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
