are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
