Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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