what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
