I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
