On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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