she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
