Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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