anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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