Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
