if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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