Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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