I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
