I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize