He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
