Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
