Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
