I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
