U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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