Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My pussy is not your playground.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
