Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
