ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
