I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
